Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets–Days 196-202

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 196. The Butler had informed me that dreams are yet another projected reality projected onto us from ourselves, as we Project and with another Projection, which in turn in projecting itself onto us and destroying us. Our dreams are either slowly or quickly devouring us depending our your perception of time. My perception is very keen.

June 4, 2012 at 7:27am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 197. “This prison is the entrance to the greater depths of the Posh Trenton Studio. I am its caretaker. I created it. I am bound to it. I am its chief prisoner.”
”What is it built on?”
”The source of Ambient music.”
”What is the source?”
”Love.”
”Where are the prisoners?”
”They come and go as they please.”

June 5, 2012 at 7:35am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 198. In the middle of the room was a man with ridiculous white hair. It was bushy and jutted out from his head in all directions. He hadn’t materialized, as well. It was as if the man with the ridiculous hair had always been there, he had always existed in that spot only now I could see him. He spoke, “Hello Michael. It’s me, Jim Jarmusch.”

June 6, 2012 at 6:05am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 199. Jim Jarmusch’s voice was both droning and dead. The lifelessness was caused by the ennui Jim had been injected with by Brian Peter George St. John Bapiste de la Salle Eno, who was looking to perfect the New York No-Wave scene in the 1970’s or 80’s.

June 7, 2012 at 10:56am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 200. “Hello Jim Jarmusch. Shouldn’t you be riding Jason Schwartzman around Jonathan Ames?”
”I’ve been a prisoner of Brian Eno’s since I was a part of Robin Crutchfield’s Dark Day.”
”Robin Crutchfield was a part of DNA.”
And at the same time we said, “Who was a part of the No New York Brian Peter George St. John Baptiste de Salle Eno compilation!”

June 8, 2012 at 8:43am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 201. “Jim?” “Yes Michael?” Jim said as he patted down his pockets searching for a cigarette that did not exist, for there was no smoking in the jailhouse. He would continue to pat down his pocket to no avail. Truly, this place is death. Except I don’t smo…ke, so I wouldn’t know what that’s like, but the other me does and he would know what it’s like.

June 9, 2012 at 10:28am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 202. “I just want you to know that I did not see your last two films because I heard they were terrible and I didn’t want to ruin the films of yours that I liked.”
”Fair enough.” Jim grimaced at some secret joke.
”What are you grimacing at?”
”I used to eat a lot of cheese when I was younger. Brie. On crackers. I forget what kind of crackers.”

June 10, 2012 at 5:23am   · Like · Comment

 

 



Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets–Days 189-195

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 189. The wall to my left, or possibly right, opened up, or rather the door swallowed shucked me, devoured me, moved me, and reconstructed me on the other side.

May 28, 2012 at 6:47am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 190. I found myself in another room. A room full of great thin plumes of smoke. I squinted and saw something moving in the distance. The room appeared to be some several million Enos long.

May 29, 2012 at 7:01am   · Like · Comment

 

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 191. The smoke smelled like rotting sassafras byproducts instantly reminding me of my childhood growing up next to the sassafras factory in Baldwin, Long Island. A town, incidentally, founded by the Baldwins (Alec, Stephen, Smitty, etc) an immortal family of Victorian vampyres.

May 30. 2012 at 5:21am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 192. The smoke that smelled like sassafras byproducts, such as apple products, formed into the shape of a man. That shape of a man was the Butler who was holding a candlestick. He took out a blue Bic lighter and lighted it. The smoke swirled round and round and round…..

May 31, 2012 at 10:11am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 193… and the Butler inhaled all of the smoke. “Come Michael. We don’t have much time. There are thirteen rooms we must fight through.”
”How many?”
”Thirteen.”
”That doesn’t seem like a lot.”
”It’s a moderate amount.”
”Aren’t we in a room now?”
”No. Come!”

June 1, 2012 at 9:14am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 194. We stood at a door made out of skulls. The glue that held the skulls together began to fume and the stench it created eddied up my nose, and probably the Butler’s (but I am not sure). The doorknob was what looked to be a walrus tusk, but I was informed that it was a whale’s penis. It was not very smooth.

June 2, 2012 at 2:57pm   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 195. The room was barren. I do not think it had walls. We passed into non-existence, save for a skeleton in the middle of the room. “Is this the bone room?” I asked.
”This is the Room of Ancillary Dreaming.” The Butler informed me.
”Is this real?”
”It’s a prison.”

June 3, 2012 at 6:19am   · Like · Comment

 



Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets–Days 182-188

 

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 182. David Byrne threw a vinyl record created in similar dimensions to a compact disc at me and said, “There are the tracks. My work here is done. Here’s a napkin.” I took the napkin. David grimaced and I gripped my sword, “ENOUGH! FOUL SERPENT!”

May 21, 2012 at 7:42am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 183. “What more does that monster want from me? This month’s deed is done!” 
”The bike racks you designed for New York were ill-conceived.”
”Idiot! If only you knew…”
”And I hate songs about buildings and foods.”
”I bet you’re a Devo fan!”

May 22, 2012 at 6:32am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 184. “You’re goddamned right I’m a Devo fan! But only their first album. And their demos.”
I plunged the Bowie Sword deep into the chest cavity of David Byrne and grinned as I slowly drew the blade down to his stomach. David Byrne clenched his teeth and looked at me with an expression of thankful necessity.

May 23, 2012 at 6:33am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 185. As I gutted David Byrne the souls of Chris, Tina, and Jerry slowly (and then fastly) burst forth from him retching tears of unfathomable emotions. Small phantasmic heads oozing from his midsection, wailing uncontrollably. David had been hollowed from the inside out by some nefarious force and stuffed with them all of these years.

May 24, 2012 at 2:28pm   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 186. Finally, David Byrne’s bowels evacuated through the hole I put in him. His dying words were rather cryptic. He had informed me, “Steve Albini, forgive him for he knows not what he does. Blargh!” I had no time to ponder the meaning. I left his gutted corpse in the Steel Room and went into the far right corner.

May 25, 2012 at 9:19am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 187. I stood in the corner of the Steel Room, the far right corner, and pushed on both sides of the walls (with my hands) as I faced the section where the two walls came together. I screamed, but this did nothing to move the walls and open up the doors or whatever it is I was sure they were going to do. I wept.

May 26, 2012 at 11:54am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 188. The low hum of a bass line reverberated throughout the Steel Room. The walls shook and I assume women, if there were any, were impregnated. A noisy guitar riff joined in the aural assault. Low rumbling vocals tried to slice through the mixture but were lost in the sound. I trembled.

May 27, 2012 at 11:04am   · Like · Comment

 

 



Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets–Days 175-181

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 175. “You are a gnome, David?” “Yes Miguel. I, Bowie comma David am a gnome,” said David. “Query. Are you a regular ground gnome, David? Or are you a space gnome from space?” “I am a ground gnome who went into all of that space and became a space gnome,” said David.

May 14, 2012  at 5:05am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 176. “But enough about that. We’ve wasted enough time. I’m here to tell you what you need to do.”
”So you’re a space gnome, and this is a mountain?”
”Yes.”
”And we’re in space?”
”Technically we’re always in some kind of space.”
”Is this space mountain?”
”I think you deserved to be raped by David Byrne.”

May 15, 2012 at 3:12pm   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 177. “You must enter the posh Trenton studio one last time and venture into the dankest rooms where the pulsating heart of Brian Eno lurks and lives. To do so you must pass through the “The Plateaux of Mirror” with some guide. You are at the crossroads of a great precipice. Take these two thingees, for they will aid you.”

May 16, 2012 at 6:24am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 178. David Bowie handed me a 1987 Nokia RaMpanage Semi-Mobile Car Phone and a flat, long, horizontal piece of vinyl (most likely an obscure Animal Collective EP). “Ingest this phone to contact the my proteges at The Buttersworth Experiment.”
”What rare collectable EP is this?”
Somehow he made it vertical. “This is a dull, rusty sword.”

May 17, 2012 at 10:15am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 179. “We shant be allowed to speak again Miguel. The rest is up to you.” David Bowie sprinkled some Bowie dust on my head and the mountain began to recede into the sky. Soon nothing was left but a nub. “And whatever you do, don’t let David Byrne speak! For if you do, it will be very boring.”

May 18, 2012 at 6:06am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 180. David Byrne rolled up his beige capri pants to his crotch, and then back down again. He looked at me, and a single tear dropped out of my eye and splashed on the cold ground. The mix of shame and disdain was palpable as it pierced every fiber of my being, shredding it across the metal framework of the enclosure.

May 19, 2012 at 6:07am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 181. “…and because Tom Ze told me that he wasn’t a fan of bicycles I had him banned from the United States…. Brian Eno and I invented world music and gave it to the brown people of the world when we recorded in sub Saharan Uruguay with a cymbal, some old shoes, and a 1980 Casio springtone Electric SynthClavicord….”

May 20, 2012 at 5:23am   · Like · Comment



Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets–Days 168-174

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 168. David Bowie explained to me, or rather informed me, or horrified me of the current states of affairs. The current state of affairs being me being sexually assualted by Brian Peter George St. John Baptiste de la Salle Eno crony David Byrne. But, before that a few words on David Bowie.

May 7, 2012 at 8:38am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 169. David Bowie, a former drummer, was told by uber producer Joe Meek that he was a talentless “wanker” (whatever a wanker is). He responded by telling the police Joe was guilty of crimes of sexual turpitude. Years later, the guilt would consume David Bowie and direct me to the current project.

May 8, 2012 at 8:29am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 170. Having failed as a drummer, David Bowie reinvented himself and created a new form of music known as “Gnome Music.” This became the musical craze of the late 1960’s changing the pop culture landscape for decades to come, much to the chagrin of Brian Peter George St. John Bapiste de la Salle Eno who prefered elves.

May 9, 2012 at 5:17am   · Like · Comment

Michael Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 171. The tropes of “Gnome Music” involve David Bowie conversing with a Gnome and singing in-between conversements. Anyone can make “Gnome Music” but only David can Create “Gnome Music.”

May 10, 2012 at 5:17am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 172. Through the ages “Gnome Music” has been popularized by the likes of Joy Division to Nirvana. Today, this genre has been under a remarkable revivial with the likes of Ariel’s Pink Haunted Graffiti, Animal Collective, and The Buttersworth Experiment.

 May 11, 2012 at 8:29am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 173. “I don’t understand,” I told David Bowie. “No one understands why David Byrne does the things he does.” “No. I understand the raping. I don’t understand the gnome part.” “What don’t you understand?” “Why are you sining to a gnome?” “Technically, I’m singing inbetween conversing with the gnome.” “Oh. That makes sense.”

May 12, 2012 at 5:52am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 174. “Also, Miguel. I think you mean singing. Don’t drop your g’s. It’s unbecoming of one who records the sacred texts of ambient music.” “Yes David Bowie, but why does the word gnome have a silent g in it?” “That is where we gnomes get our magic dust from.”

May 13, 2012 at 9:51am   · Like · Comment



Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets–Days 156-162

Michael Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 156. Brian Peter George St. John Bapiste de la Salle Eno left the posh Trenton studio. The door was unlocked. I could leave anytime I wished and prevent my own probable murdering, but was compelled to stay. The door bell rang. After a few hours I decided to open it.

April 30, 2012 at 5:48am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 157. I opened the door with extreme amounts of caution. What if there was nothing on the other side, and that nothing came in and devoured me? What if that was the plan all along? To reduce me to nothing? Motes. Worse than worse than death. Instead, Robert Fripp burst in riding a hobby horse and wearing a loin cloth.

May 1, 2012 at 7:08am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 158. Robert Fripp set up his drum kit. He informed me that the it was made out of rhinoceros intestinal tracts and frozen talcum powder. I had inquired upon the fact that he was not a drummer, but the guitarist from Rush or something.

May 2, 2012 at 2:18pm   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 159. “Michael, like all guitarists, you have to understand. We all want to be proper musicians.”
”I don’t…”
”You don’t grok?”
”No.”
”I just want to be a drummer. Free. Sexually. Born free.”
”Sexually?”
”I’m here to record some drumming for the toilet flushing.”

May 3, 2012 at 6:18am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 160. His drum kit was a gift given to him by the children he exploited to record an album of “world music.” The children were a mixture of Japanese, Chinese, Korean, and Canadian. In return for giving the gift he requested, he gifted the children 2009 Philadelphia Phillies World Championship t-shirts generously donated by Starter.

May 4, 2012 at 8:52am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 161. Robert Fripp gently slid his index finger around the edge of a drum head producing some sort of sound. His body jerked exactly out of rhythm to the sliding sound. He did this faster and faster and faster and faster and faster until he went slower and slower and slower and slower. He then banged a cymbal and shouted.

May 5, 2012 at 6:49am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day Not Sure. Time is elusive, but ultimately uninteresting. What is interesting are those tiny moments of life taken out of the context of time, since the context of time destroys any inherent meaning in those moments by appearing to add meaning. I stood on a mountain. David Bowie put his hand on my arm and said, “David Byrne is raping you Miguel.”

May 6, 2012 at 6:49am   · Like · Comment


Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets–Days 149-155


Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 149. Brian Peter George St. John Baptiste de la Salle Eno and a newly recontructed butler stood in the middle of the Steel Room. The table and computer was gone and in place was a chrome, illegal 7 galloon flush toilet. The Butler held up a small microphone whose wire dangled helplessly. Brian Peter George St. John Baptiste de la Salle Eno flushed.

April 23, 2012 at 8:19am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 150. Brian Peter George St. John Baptiste de la Salle Eno and the Butler are smoking a joint talking about their favorite Pavement songs. I strutted in and began to sing the opening to “Summer Babe.” I feel that we are becoming “bros” and that all can be right with this project.

April 24, 2012 at 4:08pm   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 151. Things quickly turned ugly as Brian Peter George St. John Bapiste de la Salle Eno placed a plastic bag over the Butler’s head and informed me that he was going to autoerotic asphyxiate him to death. Unnatural acts, of course, were then performed.

April 25, 2012 at 10:55am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 152. Brian Peter George St. John Bapiste de la Salle Eno grabbed my head with one hand and placed the index finger of the other on my forehead. Brian Peter George St. John Bapiste de la Salle Eno drew a circle, produced a knife, and without breaking skin traced it.

April 26, 2012 at 11:38am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 153. Brian Peter George St. John Baptiste de la Salle Eno informed me of the true nature of my purpose of my attendance of these recordings. The demon Cthulhu would soon be birthed from my head and that my head must be destroyed before that happens.

April 27, 2012 at 7:50am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 154. The mind, mine specifically, spinned (spun). Brian Peter George St. John Bapiste de la Salle Eno had hired me not for my recording abilities, nor for my flushing capabilites. I had been hired so I could be murdered cleanly and efficiently. Immediatly, almost, I objected.

April 28, 2012 at 7:44am   · Like · Comment

Magnes Recording for Ambient Five: Rushing Tides of Flushing Toilets Day 155. Brian Peter George St. John Bapiste de la Salle Eno informed me that leave must me taken by Brian Peter George St. John Bapiste de la Salle Eno’s person for Brian Peter George St. John Bapiste de la Salle Eno must secure luncheon meat. In the stead of said person. I will be visted by other persons of various infamy.

April 29, 2012 at 7:41am   · Like · Comment